“You wanted to see me, sir?” I asked.
The provost nodded. “Have a seat, Miss Banks.”
My fingers grazed the cool doorknob as I pulled the door shut behind me, swinging silently before shutting with a finalized click. The room was lit dimly by a single lamp, heavy wine-colored drapes shielding the room against the sun. The wooden floor was ridiculously polished; I could even see my own reflection staring up at me. I turned to face him, my heart sinking lower into my stomach as I sat in the oak wood chair.
The provost’s wheat blond hair was streaked with gray and was gelled back perfectly, without even the tiniest strand standing free, as if it would be the end of his career. Honestly, as the provost of the most prestigious university in the state, didn’t he have more pressing concerns than a strand of hair being out of place? His hands tapped out a constant rhythm against the burgundy desk, his long, thin fingers stretching out like spiders creeping towards me.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Miss Banks, do you know why you’re here?”
To comment on your horrible hair, fashion, and room. “No, sir,” I whispered, clearing my throat.
I could feel my hands shaking uncontrollably in my lap, like melting ice cubes as they pulled desperately at the hems of my wool sleeves, each thudding heartbeat sending another tremor. I wiped my palms against my skirt, clamping them together.
“Well, Miss Banks,” he started His voice was surprisingly high pitched, reminding me of the little angry cartoon characters in the droning hum of the television.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Recently, a student at the University hacked into our database and stole sixty thousand dollars. We investigated, of course.”
What the hell is he going on about? It’s not like I did anything. I would never risk my life this way. Not after everything I did to get here. God, it hasn’t even been three months yet. Even I wouldn’t be that stupid.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.
“This is your warning. I advise you to find a lawyer.”
My breath caught in my throat, and my gaze snapped up at him, staring into those cold, empty eyes. I opened my mouth to speak but choked on the words, leaving my mouth hanging open. Everything was absolutely still. I could hear his high, nasally voice ringing in my ears, the words slipping through his thin lips and reaching for me.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“I didn’t! I swear—I would never—!” I protested.
“You’re dismissed, Miss Banks,” the provost said. “Oh, and keep in mind, if you drag this out for too long, a sentence for fraud and theft is up to seven years.”
I walked in a trance out of the provost’s office. Outside, nothing had changed. Brightly colored autumn leaves were dancing gracefully in the wind, green grass glistened in the afternoon sun, the faint scent of magnolias, musty books, and ink spilled through the open air and hallways. A hysterical giggle escaped my throat. Everything was perfect. It was the perfect university for the perfect student with the perfect life.
I could feel the glare of a thousand mechanical eyes chasing me, following me through the winding paths, listening to the deafening crunch of my footsteps against dying leaves. I wandered around, colors blurring before me. I forced myself to stop, my feet jerking to a halt as I tripped and stumbled into someone.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” I quickly regained my balance, cursing myself for wearing heels. I pressed my lips together. I was supposed to be at a career seminar. Of course the provost had chosen that exact moment to ruin my life. I glanced around—I wasn’t at the university anymore. Paint was peeling off the walls of a coffee shop, and a strange liquid filled the gutters. Looking up, I saw brown eyes, the familiarity of sharp features, and the sweep of golden-brown waves. It had been seven years since I’d seen him.
“Rhett?”
“Edith!” He broke into a grin.
He still has the same smile, I mused. The same tired eyes and malnourished face; the same soft voice.
“I didn’t expect to see you here—it’s been so long. You look so…” he waved at me vaguely
I hesitated for a moment before nodding. Rhett was dressed in a faded, ill-fitting pair of jeans, the white shirt under his black denim jacket tearing at the seams with a stain on his left shoulder. I looked like the rich people we used to make fun of with their fancy clothes and make-up and bags and shoes. Would he even have recognized me from a distance? The thought struck me with relief, but also something I couldn’t place. I had changed my clothes, wore make-up and heels, politely smiled at people and spoke with the utmost respect. It was probably just nostalgia from seeing him again. My hands crept toward my sleeves, tugging before dropping my hands. Rhett’s eyes dropped to my hands and quickly looked back up.
“Well…” he said. “Do you want to get some coffee or something?”
“Yeah, coffee sounds great,” I said, forcing a smile.
I sipped my coffee carefully. It was watered down and lukewarm. I had promised myself never to come back to this place again. It belonged to the life of a little girl looking for scraps. It was fitting, though. I would have to get used to it if this was going to be my life again.
No, you idiot. Your life is going to prison for the rest of your stupid, stupid life.
“So…” Rhett paused. “What have you been up to?”
“University,” I replied. “This is my first year, though. Before that, I was at a prep school.”
Rhett nodded, leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, and his eyes looking past me, but not quite unfocused. I sat up straighter, pressing my hands against the worn plastic table.
“What about you?” I asked.
He shrugged. “My life still looks like that time the old lady threw her dishcloth at me.”
I smirked. “You were such a mess.”
“Hey! I did it because of you!”
I scoffed, crossing my arms, trying to stop the corners of my mouth from lifting. “Right…”
Rhett laughed. “Still have that attitude, I see.”
My smile faltered. We fell back to our old routine so easily. We would run off and hide, and I would pretend to be the scary monster under the bed. It was all we had to entertain ourselves. My old room had been a mess of dirty clothes and blankets we’d made forts out of, littered with crumpled pieces of paper and candy wrappers. The room had the sweet scent of old candy and books we had managed to get hold of.
“Where’s your sister?” I asked. It had been impossible to separate Rhett and Josie, and they always stuck together, no matter what.
“She’s home.”
Something was…off. His eyes were tight and his shoulders were tense. He twisted the skin of his wrist, pinching before letting go. I instinctively reached over to stop his hands. His gaze snapped up, and I pulled away, jerking my hand back. Feeling my face heating, I reached for my coffee, looking down.
“Is something—” My voice caught in my throat. “Is something wrong?”
“Everything’s fine, don’t worry.”
“Rhett.” I hesitated. He was the same boy from seven years ago, but he wasn’t. I didn’t know him anymore, not really. Still, the words tumbled out of my mouth clumsily, and I wished I could take them back—he’d probably just see me as an annoyance at this point. “You can tell me.”
“It’s nothing.” He leaned back, hands gripping the table.
I held his gaze, and he stared back. I watched as he slowly resigned, the war in his eyes glittering with the afternoon light.
He sighed. “Josie’s sick.”
I held my breath, absently pulling on my sleeve. “Sick how?”
He placed his hand over my wrist. I could feel my eyes widen as I dropped my gaze to his hand, his long fingers sending warmth and tiny shocks through my arm.
“She has a tumor and needs surgery. But…on the bright side, the doctors say she won’t need much chemo after the surgery, and I have the money, so…” He smiled weakly. “We should be fine.”
“I…how can I help?”
He waved his hand dismissively, “Edith, it’s fine. I bet you’re busy with your schoolwork as it is. You’re living the dream. Do it for both of us, okay?”
Guilt pressed up against my throat and I nodded, unable to speak.
“I wish we could go there,” I sighed, looking up longingly at the university’s tall, grand buildings spilling out light and glory.
“Yeah… must be nice up there.” “I thought you hated school.”
“I thought you hated school. Doesn’t matter. Anything to get out of this place,” Rhett laughed. “Who knows, maybe I can even become a lawyer or something.”
“You definitely argue enough to be one.”
“You’re the one who starts it!”
“It’s not gonna happen anyway.”
He had taken my hand, and I had watched our fingers intertwine. A vow. “We will, someday. We’re going to get rich and fat and look back on these days together,” he replied. “I promise I won’t do it without you.”
“Yeah, of course.” I warmed my hands against the burning mug.
Rhett had always shielded josie from reality. He would go days, barely eating, to give her just one more meal. I paused. “Wait… Rhett, where did you get the money from?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, shrugging. “The important thing is that I have the money.”
“Rhett.” He wasn’t the type to steal money. When he had to, he took as little as he could. We’d both believed in hard work, opportunity, the American Dream. It was stupid, but there had been nothing else for us to cling to before giving up.
“Well, the thing is…” His teeth grazed his lip. I had forgotten how annoying it was. Nevertheless, I could feel heat rising in my face. I hoped my blush wasn’t visible. “I kinda stole it from the university.”
I nearly choked. “What?”
“Don’t worry,” Rhett started, his words coming fast. “I framed someone else for it. Probably just another rich kid who’ll have their parents pay for a fancy lawyer and get out of the thing with a fine. They can’t trace it back to me.”
I plastered a smile on my face and nodded. “Yeah, no, that’s good.”
“Edith?”
“Hmm?”
“You don’t look too good.”
“Thanks.”
“No, really. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. I just realized that I’m supposed…uh…” I racked my brain for excuses, for something to grasp at. “I’m supposed to be taking an exam in an hour, and I haven’t studied yet…um, I have to go, sorry.”
“No problem,” he said. “Can I give you my number, at least?”
“Of course!” I chirped. The cafe spun around me. I watched Rhett scribble numbers onto a paper before handing it to me.
“Bye!” I said, before rushing through the door.
I stumbled into my dorm, slamming the door shut behind me. It was me or Rhett, and there was no way around it. Could I sacrifice everything I’ve worked for, for Rhett and his adorable little sister?
Hot tears tracked down my cheeks, burning with every drop. My mascara dripped into unattractive puddles, smudging across my hands and eyes. It was so stupid. I couldn’t just wreck my future! It was everything I had worked for. But it was also everything Rhett had worked for. We had come into the dream of being a doctor and a lawyer together, of maybe someday attending the university and getting our degrees, of leaving the slums and exploring the world.
“Hey, I have something for you,” Rhett called distantly.
“It better not be another dying bird! We had enough trouble with the last one.”
“It’s not a dying bird.” A pause. “I promise, no more dying birds! Poor things, though.” I entered the room, placing my hand on my hip. “Well?”
“Here.” He placed a small, glistening object into my hand.
Opening my palm, I looked down at the small star in my palm, feeling as my lips curled into a smile. “Where did you get it?”
“Stole it, ‘course.”
“Not bad.”
Rhett had beamed. “You like it.”
“It’s mediocre at best,” I replied.
My room seemed to grow further and further away from me, taunting me. It was picture perfect. My stationery was organized by color on my desk, my books were shelved in their proper positions, a single legal pad and pen rested on my desk. It was everything I wanted and everything I forced myself to become. Even my bed was made perfectly, fluffy pillows resting against the headboard.
I squealed, shrieking at the top of my lungs. “Rhett! They’re here!”
Pounding footsteps echoed through the hallway. “Already? I thought they were supposed to come in a week!”
“Open it together?”
“On three,” he agreed. “Two…one!”
I had torn my envelope open, scanning the page for my acceptance. “Yes! I got—! I got in!”
“Congrats, Edith!”
“You…you did too, right?”
Rhett had been tense, his shoulders shrugging upwards. “Not exactly.”
“But…we had the same scores….”
“I know,” he said softly as he looked up, refusing to meet my gaze. “Look, you still need to go.”
“No, I won’t!”
“This is the opportunity of a lifetime. Don’t waste it. I would do the same if it were you.”
“I don’t want to go,” I breathed quietly.
“Yes, you do.
I slipped my fingers through my covers and pulled out the star pendant, holding it like a charm. I ran my thumb over the smooth, grimy surface. It still looked the same.
I called Rhett, reaching his voicemail. It was probably for the better anyway. He shouldn’t have to live with the guilt. I walked back to the provost’s office, the star clutched safely in my hand. Distorted shapes and sounds hovered around me. The falling leaves whispered their goodbyes as I entered the building, making my way to the room.
I knocked quietly, holding my chin up.
“Miss Banks,” said the provost. “I thought you would come back.”
“I…” I closed my eyes briefly, a kaleidoscope of colors and memories reflecting back at me. “I admit to the crime of hacking and stealing sixty thousand dollars from the university.”