blue autumn by Mia Sung

i. sky
          august becomes september and
          summer is still painting colors on our skin
          and I can’t wait to see you again.

          we bask in powder-blue
          light and allow our hands to meet
          sweaty under the table like
          sunflowers bending towards
          heaven

ii. cornflower
          these days feel like
          sandpaper scraping skin
          tension gripped between my shoulder blades
          and compressed in the hinge of my jaw

          textbook pages
          thin as moth’s wings slice my fingers,
          stinging, but I hold every
          moment delicately in my palm

          because I smell eucalyptus
          and hear cool springs rushing
          when I kiss you
          and it soothes all the wounds
          the world could ever give me

iii. cerulean
          the apples are rotting
          into the ground, crumbling to
          reeking, mealy fragments

          you cook meals for your mother
          and she spits them back in your face

          and I know you’re not fragile,
          but I also know that you hold twisted things
          like punishment within your chest and try
          to push them out and they warp and tear inside you
          but can’t pierce your tough skin

          so I’ll drive to school early every day
          to trace patterns on your neck
          and tell you to breathe

iv. navy
          I lie awake for hours but can’t get up
          october mornings pour through my blinds
          like the deepest part of the sea

          my bones are lead and steel
          struck raw with flint over and
          over until I’m too sore
          to move

          and even though the words “I’m fine”
          taste like I’m betraying you
          you say them all the time, so why can’t I

v. indigo
          a new day comes
          and somehow I get out of bed
          just like I did yesterday
          to drag my body through infinite hallways
          and choke jaundiced eggs past my tongue

          but when I pull my car in
          next to yours, today
          you smile, through the rain that blackens
          the air and the dead leaves layered damp
          over everything, you smile,

          and I have never seen something
          so miraculous